Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
