Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
