We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
even my farts smell like vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
