I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
