At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
