Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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