babies were throwing up all over the place
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
