I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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