Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
