Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
