i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize