You made me cry and you don't even care
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
