Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
