So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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