yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
