i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
