You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
