alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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