nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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