Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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