I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
