Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize