i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just high enough for therapy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
