At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
