its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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