I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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