shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
