I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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