i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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