i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
