week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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