why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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