haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this is an emotional support booty call
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
