just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
