I want to stick my p in your. b.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
