My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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