if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
