I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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