Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
