It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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