...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
