worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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