It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
