why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
