Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
