Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
