have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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