Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
