how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
