Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize