This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're too hungover to prance.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
