Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm really busy with my period
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