hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
