I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
