we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
